Monday, September 24, 2012

Too much free time?

Summer items completed tally : July1 - September 22

Sewing:
fleece pants, skirt, nightshirt, pillowcase, gift bag

Quilting:
5 potholders, assembled one wall hanging (binding not completed), table runner, small wall hanging (assembled only), sewed binding on 4 potholders assembled in spring

Knitting:
3 hats, scarf, 3 dishcloths,baby blanket, edging for sweater

Crochet:
2 dish towels

Reupholstered:
6 dining room chairs, one foot stool


I need to do this list to remind myself that I have been keeping busy on my 'work hiatus'.  Much of this was accomplished with things I already had at home a.k.a - the yarn and fabric stashes.  This does not include the closet cleaning and basement reorganizing that was done which resulted in a trip to donate things to the Salvation Army nor the countless books I have read and the time spent in the library looking for job. 
As I said, I have been busy. Granted much of this was accomplished while sitting on my butt in front of the television.  It is mindless white noise while I knit or do my hand stitching.

Despite the fact that I have no income and no cost-effective health insurance, I am working through a back log of things that started several years ago.  I want to say 4 years since I moved to my current house but then I realize I moved much of it from the apartment so I would say 8 years since moving to Virginia.  However with the exception of the yarn since I didn't learn to knit until I moved down here, the fabric and clothes to sew came with me from Pennsylvania.  It is good incentive to not buy anything.  I just walk into the basement look through the stash and pick a project. 

This puts me in a good position for when I go back to work.  I can move forward with the projects I already have and not feel overwhelmed by all that is available. All I need to do it choose something from the recently reorganized stacks and go on.  I even have time to write the book I have always said I would write and it's nothing like I thought it would be.

Lest you be too envious of my position recall what I said previously, I have no income and I pay about $500 a month for my health insurance.  I am enjoying the time off but I would be much happier if it had come about because I had hit the lottery (which I don't play very often) and didn't need a steady income anymore. This freedom and lack of stress has come at a price.  I can't afford to dance or compete right now.  My outings consist of trips to the library, grocery store or any free activity I can find.  I have been eating out with friends but it is often because they pay for my meal, of course I did that when I was making decent money so I guess that isn't so bad.

I could start talking about what Americans value but that would be a whole other ideal.  We want free time to do things but the way we work means that we put all these things off until we retire or are not working.  There has to be a balance in life.  While I don't miss the stress I have been under for the past five years from my previous job, I do miss the freedom the income provided me.  Odd that I would use the word freedom as between the commute and the work hours I was logging a ten hour day and when I got home I was too exhausted to do much of anything besides watch television.  When I wasn't in work I spent the time getting the necessities done such as laundry and grocery shopping.  I guess the steady income gave me the security to buy the things I wanted to do in my free time.  Now I have the free time but not the financial security.  It has given me the opportunity to evaluate thigs so that when I do start working again I can put a balance in my life between work and home.  I will make time to do the things I enjoy because I don't want to forget about them.  I will value those things more because I understand that they require the income from work to have the freedom to play.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Justice

As I am home more now during the day I am watching more television.  It’s background noise and doesn’t make me look like a crazy cat lady, talking to Mojo.  While I am not a fan of reality television I have started to watch a program whose goal is to find the next drag queen star.  This makes me both depressed and hopeful at the same time.

I am depressed in that I feel there is no justice in the world.  Women have been raised to spend hours primping to make themselves look attractive and professional while it is acceptable for men to do nothing and yet still be seen as both professional and attractive.  Along come these men who slap on a wig, several inches of make-up, fake hips, butts and something called breast plates – which I didn’t know existed until today – and become some of the most stunningly beautiful women I have ever seen.  The host of the program is a well known drag queen.  In his clothes, he isn’t someone who would call attention to himself but when she comes out dressed she is amazing; a woman who would definitely turn heads.  I think it is unfair that men can do this.  The flip side is that if some, quite frankly, plain looking men can do this to themselves there must be some hope for me.

I started watching the show because I was curious as to how men could strut down a catwalk in a woman’s bathing suit.  Anyone knows there are obvious anatomical differences between men and women, yet these men can dress like that.  I have learned this anatomy alteration can be done with, what I assume is the careful, application of duct tape.  I have always known that duct tape could be used for a multitude of things but holy cow this is truly an astounding use.  Once that secret was revealed I continued to watch to learn how they applied their make-up.

I was happy to learn that in the first season they used the same brand of make-up that I have been using when I dance in the ballroom competitions.  I shouldn’t have been surprised in that this brand started as stage make-up.  Trust me the product may be the same but the results are the difference between a goddess and a zombie and I am not the one coming out of this looking like Venus.  I have spent countless hours and who knows how much money with saleswomen at the cosmetic counter trying to learn how to hide my flaws but to not avail.  I can still walk out on a competition floor tanned and made up and look like I was auditioning for a part in Michael Jackson’s Thriller video.  That is not the intention at all.  I need to find me a drag queen.  If they can successfully cover up a five o’clock shadow then the dark circles under my eyes should be a piece of cake.  I need a fairy godmother to be transformed into Cinderella on the dance floor and I want her name to be RuPaul.