I heard recently, on a Sunday morning television news magazine, that in some major US cities over 40% of the people are single. It was comforting to learn that I am more of the norm these days. Don't get me wrong, I want to get married, it just hasn't happened yet. I should try to be optimistic. However, some part of me never thought I would be married. Of course, it doesn't help that when I was 25 my mother walked into the den when I was watching television and informed me that by Victorian standards I was considered 'on the shelf'. This was a quaint euphemism for being a spinster. Of course the fact that I later became a librarian and have lived with cats half my life doesn't help any.
I'm not sure how I feel about reaching the half-century mark having never married. Sometimes I hate it especially as I watch my single friends enter couple hood which leaves me alone many evenings and weekends. Of course the flip side is that I have seen many people in bad relationships and having been in one myself for four years I appreciate being single. Then there is the part of me that wishes I had someone to be a witness to my life, to paraphrase Susan Sarandon in " Shall We Dance?". I suppose in the age of social media one can live alone and still have witnesses to one's life. That however means one has to post all aspects of one's life on social media, which I don't choose to do. I'm not looking for a man to save me. I am capable of taking care of myself. It would be nice to have someone to worry about me or make me tea when I'm sick. It is also nice though not to have to worry about cooking for someone or cleaning up after them. This is not a dig on men but they don't see a dirty house the same way a woman does. There is scientific evidence of this phenomena. I can't cite the studies off the top of my head but I have read several over the years. Men's brains aren't wired the same as women's, their perception of things is different. Cleanliness is a matter of perception.
Obviously I am conflicted about my single status. I think it might be difficult for me to be in a relationship. I have been alone for so long I am somewhat set in my ways. I am not sure I would be open to change, besides I hate dating. I am pretty much a 'what you see is what you get' type of person. Dating, at least at the beginning, is about playing games - flirting, verbal volleyball etc.. While I enjoy the challenge of a good verbal give and take; I once stayed out until 4 am discussing the definition of reality with a male friend, I can't flirt to save my life. I never learned how and quite frankly I think it's ridiculous. It's a good thing I didn't grow up in the Renaissance or the Middle Ages. I would have been a terrible damsel in distress. With the exception of cars and anything electric, just give me the proper tools and a book and I can figure it out on my own, thank you very much. Of course, that doesn't apply to my life, but that's for another day. According to research men like damsels in distress because they like to fix things for them. I like fixing things on my own. However, if there is a man out there who won't try to fix things either in my home or about me but is willing to deal with frogs and snakes I might be willing to negotiate.